Equality between children

The holy Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam , again, has emphasized that parents should be just and fair to the children, particularly in matters of liberality and beneficence and it must not be that while one gets more, the other gets less or nothing. Besides being desirable in itself, it also meets the demands of justice and equity which is pleasing to the Almighty.

Apart from it, if discrimination is made among children and one is favoured more than the other, it will lead to ill-will and jealousy, and nothing but evil can come out of it.

The child who is discriminated against, will, again bear a grudge against it's father, the painful consequences of which are easy to imagine.

Nu'maan Ibne Basheerradhiyallahu anhu narrates: My father took me to the Apostle of Allah sallallahu alayhi wasallam , and said, "I have given a slave to this son of mine". (In other narratives, a garden is mentioned in place of the slave). The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam  enquired, "Have you given the same to all of your sons?" "No'( my father replied. (I have given it only to him.) The Apostle of Allah sallallahu alayhi wasallam  thereupon, said, "It is not correct. Take it back".

In another version, it is related that the Apostle of Allah sallallahu alayhi wasallam  asked, "Do you want all your children to be equally devoted to you?" "Yes, Sir", replied Basheerradhiyallahu anhu, "Of course". The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam  observed, "Then do not act like that. (Let it not be that you gave some property to one child and excluded the others.)"

In yet another account of Nu'maan Ibne Basheerradhiyallahu anhu of the above Tradition, it is mentioned that (when) my father transferred some property to me as a gift, (at the insistence of my mother), my mother, Amrah Binte Rawahaa radhiyallahu anhaa said that she will be happy only when he made the Apostle of Allah sallallahu alayhi wasallam  a witness to it. My father, thereupon, went to the Apostle of Allah sallallahu alayhi wasallam  and said, "I have made a gift (of such and such a property) to my son (Nu'maan) who is from my wife, Amrah Binte Rawahaa, but his mother insists that I make you a witness to the deed, (and thus, have it confirmed by you also)." "Have you made a gift of an equal value to all your children as well?" The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam   enquired. "No", my father replied, "I have not done so." The Apostle of Allah sallallahu alayhi wasallam  , then, observed, "Fear Allah, and treat your children alike." Nu'maan Ibne Basheer goes on to relate that upon it, my father corrected himself and took back the gift.
In yet another account, it is added that the Apostle of Allah sallallahu alayhi wasallam   remarked, "I cannot be a witness to an act of injustice."

Commentary:
In this Tradition, it is enjoined upon parents not to discriminate among their children when it comes to giving them something as a gift etc., such a course has been condemned by the holy Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam   as unjust and unfair. Some authorities have even gone to the extent of calling it Haraam , but the majority, including three of the founders of the four leading schools of Islaamic Jurisprudence - Imaam Aboo Haneefah, Imaam Maalik and Imaam Shaafi'ee - hold the view, on various grounds, that though it is not Haraam , it is Makroohnevertheless, and highly undesirable.

It needs, however, to be emphasized that the command applies only to a situation where the preferential treatment is based on a consideration that is not legitimate or justifiable in the eye of the Sharee'ah , otherwise no blame will attach to it. For example, if a child is physically handicapped and cannot earn his livelihood like his brothers, a special favour to him will not only be correct, but to an extent, essential and worthy of Divine reward. Similarly, should anyone, among one's children, dedicate himself to the cause of Faith or public welfare and have no time to look after his economic needs, it would also be correct and deserving of recompense in the Hereafter to make a reasonable allowance for him over and above the other children.

Apart from these, there is no harm if preference is shown to one of the childrent>, otherwise no blame will attach to it. For example, if a child is physically handicapped and cannot earn his livelihood like his brothers, a special favour to him will not only be correct, but to an extent, essential and worthy of Divine reward. Similarly, should anyone, among one's children, dedicate himself to the cause of Faith or public welfare and have no time to look after his economic needs, it would also be correct and deserving of recompense in the Hereafter to make a reasonable allowance for him over and above the other children.