Continued from the Previouse Page
While people do visit sick relatives and friends they do not visit any sick person purely on account of his being a Muslim. Whenever the opportunity arises visit the sick, do so even if they are not relatives or friends.
People also accompany the Janaazah(funeral) of only relatives and friends, while they abstain from the Janaazah of a Muslim who is a stranger to them. The Janaazah of any Muslim should be accompanied, be the Mayyit an acquaintance or a stranger.
When going for Taziyyat , console the family of the deceased. Do not do or say anything to augment their sorrow. Nowadays, people instead of comforting the relatives of the Mayyit, increase their grief and sorrow by joining them in crying and wailing. On arrival, they sit down to cry. This is not Ta'ziyyat . On the contrary it is Takleef (giving hardship to others). They utter statements such as I am grieved to hear this news, Your heart must truly be shattered, Indeed his death is great loss etc. This applies more to women. Their statements on such occasions are poisonous. Their statements are harmful to both the body and the Deen.
When going for Taziyyat, do not enquire about the details of the deceased's illness and circumstances of his death.
Taziyyat consists of two acts: to console the bereaved and thawaab for the Mayyit (deceased). Everything else besides this is nonsensical and baseless.
The practice of visitors coming from far off the seventh day, tenth day and fortieth day customs are all baseless.
For people living in the same town, the period of Taziyyat , according to the Sharee'ah , is three days. After the third day they should not go for Taziyyat . The aim of Taziyyat is to console, not to revive the grief and sorrow.
Taziyyat is permissible after three days for those who are the residents of other towns. Since the person arrives from another town or city, the bereaved person will be consoled by his words of sympathy. In fact, if the outsider merely sits without uttering a word of consolation, the bereaved may feel hurt and consider the attitude of the visitor as a display of insensitivity. Thus, the Sharee'ah has permitted an outsider to go for Taziyyat even after the third day, while the period of the three days is fixed for local residents only.
Only very close relatives, who are able to console the bereaved, should go for Taziyyat . Close friends from whose companionship the bereaved derives comfort should also go.
When consoling the bereaved, do so with statements such as: Whatever has happened, has happened. Crying will be of no avail. Act in the interests and benefit of the Mayyit. Recite the Qur'aan Shareef perform Nafl and make Zikrullah, so the thawaab reaches the Mayyit. Make du'aa of forgiveness on behalf of the Mayyit. Have confidence that he is entering Jannah, where the comfort is greater. After a time, we too shall depart and will meet up with the Mayyit.
The Aadaab of Presenting a Request