- WHO PRACTICES POLYGAMY
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- POLYGAMY HAS BEEN PRACTICED BY MANKIND FOR
THOUSANDS OF YEARS. Many of the ancient Israelites were polygamous. Some having hundreds
of wives. King Solomon
(Sulaymaan) alayhis Salaam is said to have had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. David (Daawood) alayhis Salaam had ninety nine and Jacob (Ya'qoob) alayhis Salaam had four. Advice given by some Jewish wise
men state that no man should marry more than four wives. No early society put any
restrictions on the number of wives or put any conditions about how they were to be
treated. Jesus
(Eesaa) alayhis Salaam was not known to have spoken against polygamy. As recent as the 17th century,
polygamy was practiced and accepted by the Christian Church. The Mormons (The Church of Jesus Christ of the
Latter-day Saints) has
allowed and practiced polygamy in the United States.
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- Monogamy was introduced into Christianity
at the time of Paul when many revisions took place in Christianity. This was done in order for the
Church to conform to the Greco-Roman culture where men were monogamous but owned many
slaves who were free for them to use: in
other words, unrestricted polygamy.
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- Early Christians invented that women were "full of sin" and man was better off to "never marry" Since this would be the end
of mankind these same people compromised and said, "Marry only one."
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- In the American society
many times when relations are strained, the husband simply deserts his wife. Then he
cohabits with a prostitute or other immoral woman without marriage. Actually there are
three kinds of polygamy practiced in western societies:
- Serial polygamy, that is, marriage, divorce,
marriage, divorce and so on any number of times.
- A man married to one woman
but having and supporting one or more mistresses.
- An unmarried man having a
number of mistresses.
- Islaam condones, but discourages, the first and forbids the other two.
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- Wars cause the number of women to greatly exceed
the number of men. In a monogamous society these women, left without husbands
or support, resort to prostitution, illicit relationships with married men resulting in
illegitimate children with no responsibility on the part of the father, or lonely
spinsterhood, or widowhood.
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- Some western men take the position that monogamy protect the
rights of women. But are these men really concerned
about the rights of women? The society has so many practices which exploit and suppress women, leading to
women's liberation movements from the suffragettes of the early twentieth century to the
feminist of today.
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- The truth of the matter
is that monogamy protects men, allowing
them to "play around" without responsibility. Easy birth control and easy legal abortion has opened the door of illicit sex to women and she has been lured into the
so-called sexual revolution. But she is still the one who suffers the trauma of abortion
and the side effects of the birth control methods. Taking aside the plagues of venereal
disease, herpes and Aids, the male continues to enjoy himself free of worry.
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- Men are the ones protected by monogamy while women continue
to become the victim of men's desires. Polygamy is very much opposed by the male
dominated society because it would force men to face up to responsibility and fidelity. It
would force them to take responsibility for their polygamous inclinations and would
protect and provide for women and children.
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- Among all the polygamous
societies in history there were none which limited the number of wives. All of the
relationships were unrestricted. In Islaam, the regulations concerning polygamy limit the number of wives a
man can have while making him responsible for all of the women involved.
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- "Marry women of your choice, two or three or
four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them, then only one
or that which your right hands possess. That will be more suitable, to prevent you from
doing injustice."
- (Al Qur'aan 4:3)
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- This verse from the Qur'aan allows a man to marry more than one woman
but only if he can deal justly with them. Another verse says that a person is unable to
deal justly between wives, thus giving permission but discouraging.
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- "You will never be able to deal justly
between wives however much you desire (to do so ). So (if you have more than one wife) do
not turn altogether away (from one ), leaving her as in suspense."
- (Al Qur'aan 4:129)
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- while the provision for
polygamy makes the social system flexible enough to deal with all kinds of conditions, it
is not necessarily recommended or preferred by Islaam. Taking the example of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam is instructive. He was married to one woman,
Khadeejah radhiyallahu anhaa, for twenty five years. It was only after her death when he
reached the age of fifty that he entered into other marriages to promote friendships,
create alliances or to be an example of some lessons to the community; also to show the
Muslims how to treat their spouses under different conditions of life.
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- The Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam was given inspiration from Allah about how to deal with multiple marriages
and the difficulties encountered therein. It is not an easy matter for a man to handle two
wives, two families and two households and still be just between the two. No man of
reasonable intelligence would enter into this situation without a great deal of thought
and very compelling reasons (other than sexual too).
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- Some people have said that
the first wife must agree to the second marriage. Others have said that the couple can put it into the marriage
contract that the man will not marry a second wife. First of all, neither the Qur'aan nor Ahaadeeth state that the first wife need
be consulted at all concerning a second marriage let alone gain her approval.
Consideration and compassion on the part of the man for his first wife should prompt him
to discuss the matter with her but he is not required to do so or to gain her approval. Secondly, the Qur'aan has explicitly given permission for a man to
marry "two, three or four." No one has the authority to make a contract
forbidding something that has been granted by Allah.
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- The bottom line in the
marriage relationship is good morality and happiness, creating a just and cohesive society
where the needs of men and women are all taken care of. The present western society, which permits
free sex between consenting adults, has given rise to an abundance of irresponsible sexual
relationships, an abundance of "fatherless" children, many unmarried teenage
mothers; all becoming a burden on the country's welfare system. In part, such an undesirable welfare burden
has given rise to a bloated budget deficits which even an economically powerful country
like the United States cannot accommodate. Bloated budget deficits have become a political
football which is affecting the political system of the United States.
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- In short, we find that
artificially created monogamy has become a factor in ruining the family structure, and the
social, economic, and political system of a country.
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- It must be a Prophet, and
indeed it was Prophet
Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam who directed the Muslims to get
married or observe patience until one gets married. Abdullaah Ibne Mas'ood
radhiyallahu anhu reported Allah's Messenger Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam as saying, "Young men, those of you who can support a wife should marry,
for it keeps you from looking at strange women and protects you from immorality; but those
who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is a means of suppressing sexual
desire."
- (Bukhaari, Muslim)
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- Islaam wants people to be married and to
develop a good family structure. Also Islaam realises the requirements of the society and the individual in special
circumstances where polygamy can be the solution to problems. Therefore, Islaam has
allowed polygamy, limiting the number of wives to four, but does not require or even
recommend polygamy.
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- In the Muslim societies of
our time, polygamy is not frequently practiced
despite legal permission in many countries. It appears that the American male is very
polygamous, getting away with not taking responsibility for the families he should be
responsible for.
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