The Aadaab of Hadyah (Gift)
If you wish to make a request to a person then do not make any gift to him. The one to whom the gift is made under such circumstances is either put to disgrace or is indirectly compelled to comply with the request of the person who presented the gift. (Such a gift will in fact be a bribe.)
When taking a gift along the journey to present to someone, do not take so much as to create difficulty for you along the journey.
Immediately after accepting a gift it is not proper to give it (the gift) in charity in the presence of the person who gave the gift. Contribute it in the absence of the person in a way which will not be known to him, otherwise he will be grieved.
The motive for making gifts should be only Muhabbat (love and affection), not the fulfilment of one's needs or request. Therefore, if you have a need to present to a person, do not make a gift to him at the same time. It will then appear as if the gift was motivated by the ulterior motive.
The actual purpose of making a gift is to strengthen the bond of affection. Therefore, such ways which inconvenience the one for whom the gift is intended, should not be adopted.
Make the gift in privacy, not in public. The Muhdaa ilayh (the person to whom the gift was made) is entitled to make public the gift.
If the gift is in kind (i.e. not cash) thenn edeavour to ascertain the likes and preferences of the Muhdaa ilayh. Present something which the Muhdaa ilayh prefers.
The amount of the gift should not be so much that it constitutes a difficulty for the Muhdaa ilayh. It does not matter how less or of little value the gift may be. People of piety are not concerned with the amount or quantity of the gift. They look at the sincerity of the one who makes the gift.
If for some reason acceptance of the gift is refused, then respectfully request the reason for the refusal. For the future bear it in mind. But do not insist to obtain the reason at the time. If the gift is refused because of misunderstanding created by a baseless supposition or misinformation which reached the Muhdaa ilayh, then it is correct, in fact better, to immediately notify him of the error.
Do not make a gift to anyone as long as he is not convinced of your sincerity.
Do not make gifts in such a way that taking delivery of it becomes difficult and onerous on the Muhdaa ilayh (the one to whom the gift is made).
A gift tendered with the motive to obtain some benefit in lieu is, in fact, bribery. It is not Hadyah.
If the motive underlying the gift is to obtain thawaab in the hereafter, then too, it is not Hadyah, but will be Sadaqah (charity).
Some people labour under the impression that when going to visit a saint it is necessary to present a gift to him. This is incorrect. To make it a rule to present him with a gift whenever one visits him is harmful to all parties concerned.
Accept gifts from such persons who do not expect anything in return, otherwise it will lead to ill-feeling ultimately. However, the one who has accepted the gift should endeavour to reciprocate. If you are not by the means to give anything in return, at least praise the person and express your gratitude. Mention his favour in the presence of others. Expressing gratitude by saying "May Allah reward your goodness," will suffice. One who does not express gratitude to a person who did a favour, does not express gratitude to even Allah .
It is improper to obliterate (i.e. to forget about) a gift which one has received, for this displays lack of appreciation. Similarly, it is improper to advertise with pride the great value or abundance of the gifts received.
It is not permissible to accept gifts from mentally deranged persons.
It is not permissible to accept gifts from naa-baaligh (minor) children.
A gift should not be refused because of its slight value or small quantity.
A gift should not be refused on account of pride or arrogance.
If one detects that a gift is not presented because of sincerity, but is motivated by some ulterior motive, then such a gift should be refused.
It is permissible to refuse a gift if one detects that the gift is made on account of one's need or poverty.
A Qaari who has recited the Qur'aan should not be given a present (Hadyah) because of his recital. If a gift is made to him, he should refuse acceptance.
Hadyah (gift) should not be presented while making musaafahah (shaking hands)
When sending Hadyah with someone, ensure that the person whom you are sending is reliable so that there may be no need to obtain a receipt or acknowledgement letter from the Muhdaa ilayh (the one to whom the gift is made). Requesting acknowledgement from the Muhdaa ilayh is an irksome imposition on him and is uncultural.
When the gift is made, the price of the item should not be asked of the one who makes the gift. Similarly, others who happen to be present when the gift is made should not also query about the price or value of the article in the presence of the Muhdee (the one who makes the gift).
The Aadaab of Intercession